Friday, June 22, 2007

Session Co-dependant is a fuck

I’m not supposed to languish my life
I’m not supposed to
languish
my
life

I’m not supposed to think about you
I’m not supposed to
think
about
you

about your face
your lovely face
about your eyes
your hazel eyes that would smile at me with that boyish smile on a mischief face with a huge forehead crowning a huger head on a thin neck
craning down heavily flat on my chest your sticking ears suctioning my heartbeat
“It goes pa pump-pa pump-pa pump, Papa.”
You say grinning up at me looking accomplished at your sweetly obvious observation

I’m not supposed to want you
I’m not supposed to
want
you

Want your body
your lovely body
Your pale slim body-stick frame with a sexy pooch for a belly “my baby” I name it
Your soft pudging curve with the big belly button mole that freaked my love
Your long limbs meeting a thin torso leading to a straight strong cock with fleshy balls and a lovely mound sloping into your pink pucker hidden by high round ass that globe onto your thick thighs
Wanting to be -between them-on top of them-beside them
Entangled inside your body

I’m not supposed to remember you
I’m not supposed to
remember
you

Remember your laugh
your lovely laugh
which would sneak tip toe air-air-air out nostril or explode blast-hard from mouth
Your tilted silent light-bulb discoveries and bright wide-eyed eye-to-eye, I understand response
Your snore that kept me awake while you were away, and rocked me to sleep in our bed at first rumble
Your head and heavy hand caressing my chest and your hair pricking at my chin
My chin that you would raise with your long hand when you would see a blue moment

I’m not supposed to miss you
I’m not supposed to
miss
you

miss your company
your lovely company
How you allowed me my frustratingly frustrating sulks
How your voice filled me up
How you-you-you filled me up
How you made the silliest associations and told me with little dance to accompany
How you couldn’t be the bad guy and I had to send back the dish chef got wrong
How I enjoyed sending back that dish chef got wrong
How we used to throw things out third floor window in drunken Dallas revelry watching it smash on road laughing at stupid drivers piercing their tires on broken beer bottles-full length mirrors-metal trashcans while singing into our plastic blow up toy microphones loudly like virgins.
How I miss your company my lovely friend

Some suppose I can be just a friend
Some suppose I can
Some suppose
Wrong

I’m supposed to focus on what I hate about you
I’m supposed to focus on what
I HATE
ABOUT
YOU

I hated your selfish tendencies, “No, I really love to clean house after a 10 hour shift at the local grocery store.”
- you worked on that

I hated your after-thoughtfulness, “Is it too much to pile on an extra eggroll on your buffet plate? You know how I love dem eggrolls.”
- you fixed that

So…
hate?
Hate.
Ah hate!

I hate that you left me for no good reason
I hate that you left me
I hate that you left
I hate that you
left me
You left

You left…I’m supposed to realize that!

supposed to realize that…
supposed to
realize
that…
I’m great on my own not a half of us
and you’re awful for leaving me twisted and confused
and moving on without me

I AM great on my own, not a half of us
and you ARE awful for leaving me twisted and confused
and moving on without me!

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